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Process of Growth 成长的过程

发布时间:2019-12-02 10:39:00源自:互联网作者:admin阅读()

Human growth is a process of experimentation, trial, and error, ultimately leading to wisdom.

人的成长是一个不断尝试、经历磨练和失误,最终变得聪明起来的过程。

To ease this process of learning, you must first master the basic lessons of compassion and forgiveness. without these essential lessons, you remain trapped in your limited view and unable to parlay mistakes into valuable learning opportunities.

要想使这一学习过程轻松些,你必须首先修得同情和宽恕这两门基本课程,否则你永远只能是井底之蛙,永远不能把错误转化为宝贵的学习机会。

Compassion. Compassion is the act of opening your heart. To live in a state of compassion means you approach the world with your emotional barriers lowered. Compassion is the emotional glue connecting you to your essence and to the essence of those around you.

同情之心。所谓同情就是敞开你的心扉,抛开你的情感障碍,用心去感受、体会这个世界。同情心是一种情感黏合剂,它会使你与自己的心灵和周围其他人的心灵联系起来。

You have the ability to choose whether or not you will learn the lessons you are presented with, so you will then need to use your discretion to choose whether to invite in compassion or remain closed. If you choose compassion, you can try on what it would feel like to be that person you are judging and imagine putting yourself in her reality. This will connect you to her essence and evaporate the judgment encrusted around your heart.

对于呈现在你眼前的课程,你可以选择学习,也可以选择不学。此时,你就需要用心选择是敞开还是紧闭你的同情心。如果你选择同情,你可以试着站在对方的立场,设身处地地为对方想一想。这样你就能与对方的心灵联系起来,消除你心中的成见。

Compassion is also required at those times when you are harshly judging yourself. If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake, or failed to live up to your own expectations, you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the alleged wrongdoer. Compassion will then open the door to the possibility of forgiveness and will allow you to release those judgments that are holding you in selfcontempt.

有时你过分苛求自己,此时你也需要对自己敞开同情之心。当你自责犯了某个错误,或辜负了自己的期望时,你往往会在你的真正自我和所谓的“犯错嫌疑人”之间竖起一道障碍。拥有了同情之心,你才能开启宽恕的大门,使自己从自轻自鄙的困境中解脱出来。

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt. As you move from compassion to forgiveness, your heart is already open, and you engage in a conscious and deliberate release of resentment. Perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame, and it is not possible to learn anything meaningful while you are engaged in blaming.

宽恕之心。宽恕是指宽大为怀,尽释前嫌。由同情到宽恕,你已拥有一颗开放的心灵,并开始逐步地、有意识地释放自己的愤怒与不平。如果你认为过去的行为都是错误,这势必会让你内疚、自责;而当你忙于自责时,你根本无暇顾及从中汲取任何有益的教训。

There are four kinds of forgiveness. The first is beginner forgiveness for yourself.

宽恕有四种类型。第一种是对自己的初级宽恕。

The second kind of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another.

第二种是对他人的初级宽恕,即你需要宽恕他人的过失。

The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself.This is for serious transgressions, the ones you carry with deep shame. When you do something that violates your own values and ethics, you create a chasm between your standards and your actual behavior. In such a case, you need to work very hard at forgiving yourself for these deeds so that you can close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself.This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourself or not feel regret or remorse; but wallowing in these feelings for a protracted period of time is not healthy, and punishing yourself excessively will only creates a bigger gap between you and your ethics.

第三种是对自己更深层次的宽恕,所涉及的是那些你深感耻辱的严重过失。当你做了某件严重违背自己的价值观和道德观的事情,你的实际行为和你的为人准则之间就出现了一道裂缝。这时,你需要努力去原谅你自己的过失,以便修复这道裂缝,重新找回真正的自我。这并不意味着你可以很随意地原谅自己或不知悔恨、一错再错;但是,一味地深陷于自责、悔恨是不健康的,而且过分的自我惩罚只会使你越发远离你的道德标准。

The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another. At some time of our life, you may have been severely wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible. However, harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victimhood. Under such a circumstance, you should force yourself to see the bigger picture,by so doing, you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment. It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing and clean the memory. When you can finally release the situation, you may come to see it as a necessary part of your growth.

第四种也是最难的一种宽恕,就是对他人的更深层次的宽恕。生活中,有时你可能受到过极大的委屈、极深的伤害,而且这一切似乎是不可原谅的。但是,如果你的心中充满仇恨以及复仇的幻想,那你只会深陷于受伤害的情绪之中,不能自拔。此时,你必须强迫自己把眼光看得广阔一些,只有这样你才能转移你的注意力,不至于沉溺于怒火和仇恨之中。只有通过宽恕,你才能忘却过错,重新获得心灵的平静。当你最终能够从中解脱,你也许会意识到这是你成长过程中必修的一课。

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